Don’t Let Rejection Get In The Way
Rejection can have so much negative power over us during a job search. The big “R”comes in many forms and at many stages during the search process. In fact, it is usually the action at which your job search begins—being let go, no matter what the reason, is in a way a rejection of you by that company. Then, at various times throughout the job search, rejection again pops up its ugly little head. Rejection comes when you never hear back after sending in your resume, or it can come after having an interview—over the phone, face to face, or even after multiple interviews.
The problem is that rejection causes emotional hardship, especially if you are not expecting it. We beat ourselves up about what went wrong and start to lose confidence and self-esteem. This only hurts the job searching efforts more.
It’s so easy to take rejection personally. This is, after all, your career we are talking about. There are actually many reasons, factors beyond your control, why you should not take it personally though. It is possible that the company instituted a hiring freeze in the middle of the interview process, a highly qualified internal candidate may have applied for the same position, or there were numerous highly qualified candidates who applied, allowing the company to be very selective about the person who fit their needs best.
Instead of dwelling on unproductive perspectives like “why didn’t they like me?” use each interview as a learning opportunity. Deconstruct the interview in an objective way. Start by asking yourself if you were as prepared as you should have been. Did you do your research about the company? Did you run through possible questions and answers before the interview?
Replay the interview in your head. What was the comfort level throughout the interview? Did the mood shift at any particular time? If so, what was said at that point? You do not want to obsess about everything you said because depending on the company or the interviewer your answers could affect each in a different way; however, sometimes a particular statement or action you make could be altogether inappropriate for all interviews. For example, I know a person who thought it wise to start each interview out by showing the interviewer a picture of his child. He thought this was a smart move as it would pull on the heart strings of the interviewer. This was not the case. It was inappropriate in every interview and hindered him in his job search.
List a few things to do differently next time and continue to focus on moving forward and learning from the rejection.
I do not recommend contacting the interviewer for feedback because the success rate of getting them to discuss with you are very low. But if you are truly stumped as to why you did not get the job, and it would help you in moving past it to contact the interviewer, then at least be smart about it. Make sure you sound positive and gracious and make your communication forward thinking. “I am disappointed that I was not a fit for the role; however, looking to future positions that might come along what could I improve?”
May 28th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Hi Very interesting and good advice.
I worked at a company for 7 years I was the chair of the wellness committee even though I worked my main work was not in this area. I also started the Green environmental committee. Under the wellness we started a staff fitness center and under the Green Team a recycling program both are still operational (i was at a staff level position). For 5 years intermittently I was bullied by my dept manager. Our dept last spring summer was also having outside facilitators come in to increase morale.
For my own professional development and mental health, I decided I had enough and quit Sept 08. (my manager was subsequently fired in Oct 08-colleagues stated escorted off the premises) Because I knew I would not get nor want a reference from my immediate manager I went to the COO in August 08. He agreed to be a reference for me. When I recontacted him to be a reference in April 09 (I had a job interview and they were asking for high level (not just staff) written references). He emailed me and said it would be inappropriate as I did not answer directly to him. Even though my primary work did not answer to him my Chair and committee development work on the Wellness Committee and Staff Fitness Gym and Green Team and Recycling program did report to him (not at all to my own manager. And this committee work (which I am very proud of) is what I wanted a reference for. I feel bewildered why he would change his mind when he agreed to be a reference for me last year, I provided stellar work in the committees I lead and had no conflict with Senior Administration. So after being the victim of a bully and abuse of power by my manager I feel like this has prolonged the impact of her abuse. Any further thoughts (i know you cannot know all sides to this story.
thanks glenn king
Winnipeg, Canada
May 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I take this story as a lesson.
I am very happy that I have written recommendations from the past.
Perhaps a person should gather letters of recommendation along the way, while things are going well.
akk
May 29th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Very good article. I graduated in December 2008 (Mechanical Engineer/Energy Concentration) and I have only had 2 interviews out of the 700 resumes sent to different firms and corporations. Both were with energy companies looking to hire experienced engineers. I’m still a little perplexed as to why they would call me in for an interview only later to tell me that they were looking for someone with more experience. This article did shed some light and I feel that I am even more ready for my next interviews (if I get one).
June 1st, 2009 at 7:13 am
N.A.